How To Recover From A Bad / Negative First Impression

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Hey Everyone!,

How To Recover From A Negative First 

Impression

Bad first impressions can be difficult to recover from, but it’s not impossible.

It turns out the old adage, “You never get a second chance to make a great first impression,” may not be true after all.

There’s a great deal of pressure around making a positive first impression–and for good reason. Some studies say an impression is formed within the first seven seconds of meeting someone. First impressions happen quickly, which is why we dress up for a job interview or a date.

So what happens when your first impression is less than favorable? Say on your first encounter with a new client, your car broke down on the way to work, making you late for the meeting, and then after leaving them waiting, you call them by the wrong name. The encounter might have left your new client assuming that you are frazzled and unprofessional.

It can be difficult to recover from bad first impressions. This is partially because our brains have a hard time adapting to change and don’t like to accept information that is contrary to what we already believe. It’s easier for your client to continue to think that you’re unprofessional, even when presented with information to the contrary. You may show up on time to the next meeting and call your client by the right name, yet they may still hold on to that negative first impression of you. Despite this, there is hope. It’s not impossible to recover, says professional coach Janet Zaretsky.

Here’s what you should do

Decide Whether or Not to Take Action

Before you decide how to address a bad first impression, you must first ask whether it’s necessary to respond at all. Not all bad first impressions are created equal. Who you were trying to impress will have an impact on whether or not you decide to take action to remedy your stumble.

If you just met someone on the street or if it’s a person you casually met at a cocktail party and you made a bad impression, then the best response might be no response. “I’m all about building a confident first impression but sometimes people get too caught up in having to make a perfect first impression,” says Dr. Dave Stachowiak, a leadership trainer with Dale Carnegie Training and host of the Coaching for Leaders podcast.

If the relationship is not one that is all that important for your business or for you personally, then you might just need to let it go. “We all make bad first impressions. It’s just human nature,” says Stachowiak. “We have a bad day. Does it really matter to try to fix it? Is it really a big deal? If not, let it go.”

On the other hand, if the person was really important to you — like a new boss, a VIP, a future in-law, or even a date you were excited about — then how you respond is of course of much greater importance.

If in fact the relationship does merit some kind of response, then the following tips will get you back on track.

APOLOGIZE WHEN NECESSARY

If you’ve done or said something offensive, apologize, but Zaretsky says, don’t overdo it. “Most people are very forgiving and will move on if you do,” she says. When apologizing, make sure it’s authentic. Don’t focus on the reasons why you did or said something; simply apologize for your behavior and state your desire to rectify the relationship and start over. Avoid apologizing over and over, bringing up that negative first encounter and reminding the person of what they first thought of you.

Apologize Later, Even If Time Has Passed

Often people stall at making an apology because they are not sure if one is necessary, and then when they decide they should apologize or explain away their bad first impression, they are not sure if they should even proceed because too much time has passed.

The truth is, even if you apologize hours or days later, people often appreciate the gesture.

Business coach Kevin Waldron does this, even if it’s a day or two later. “Let’s say I said something stupid about your mother,” says Waldron. “I would call back the next day and say ‘In my poor attempt at Scottish humor, I said something about your mother and I didn’t mean it that way — it was just my poor attempt at humor.’”

Even if you feel like too much time has gone by for you to make an effort to apologize, there is little harm in doing it anyways.

Pivot

One of the best approaches for recovering from a bad first impression is to pivot by showing off a different and more favorable side of your personality. In other words, if you tried to crack a joke and it fell flat, then demonstrate sincerity. Or if you tried to be sincere and it rang hollow, then demonstrate compassion. Pivoting to focus on a different aspect of your personality may help to reshape the perception of your character and value.

Sometimes pivoting can make all the difference in the world. In 1939, a young and self-assured 20-year-old U.S. Army pilot on weekend leave was visiting the World’s Fair in Queens, New York. He spotted an attractive young woman named Peggy Gallagher, who was sitting at an information booth.

He walked straight up to her and said he needed some information. “What do you need?” she asked. He said he wanted to know if she would have dinner with him that night.

The pilot was my grandfather, and the woman behind the information booth was my grandmother, who was actually on a break from her job as a model in the Billy Rose Aquacade show. My grandmother was initially turned off by the ploy and the rather direct approach. She thought my grandfather was a full-of-himself pilot — which I suppose he was. Fortunately though, my grandmother gave him a shot, and my grandfather later got another opportunity at winning her over. That’s when he pivoted and showed off different, less cocky aspects of his personality, such as his sense of humor. By pivoting, he got over his initial bad first impression.

If he hadn’t pivoted, I might not be here to tell that story.

GET OVER YOUR NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Part of the reason it’s so difficult to recover from a poor first impression, Zaretsky says, is that we tend to ruminate on it too much ourselves. By replaying the situation over and over in our own heads and beating ourselves up for what we said or did, we tend to show up the next time trying too hard to not repeat the mistake or impress that we missed an opportunity to show our true selves.

Our brain chemicals also don’t help the situation. “When we experience a moment of embarrassment or shame, we are secreting a negative ‘chemical cocktail’ that puts us into a survival posture,” says Zaretsky. When in this state, our brain’s ability to connect, empathize, and be our full self is diminished. The other person also senses our discomfort, further compounding the situation. Forgiving yourself and letting go of the embarrassment frees you to be your authentic self the next time you come face-to-face with the person. If this individual had an inaccurate first impression of you, showing them your true self is the best way to change their opinion.

 Be Consistent Over Time

Another way of responding to a bad first impression is by demonstrating sincerity and consistency over time following that first poor showing. This approach is harder and obviously is more of a long game, but ultimately can cement stronger relationships. “What is harder — and what most people don’t do — is correct a bad first impression through your actions of how you care later,” says Stachowiak. “It doesn’t matter what you do one or two times. It matters what you do consistently over time. That’s how you correct a bad first impression.”

Stachowiak acknowledged he personally tends to not make great first impressions, but that his strategy is to make up for it later. “It’s the consistent follow up, communication, listening, and remembering things about people 6 months or one year later that make a difference,” he says.

FIND OUT HOW PEOPLE PERCEIVE YOU

Most of us don’t know what type of impression we give. We think of ourselves in a certain way and assume that others see us in that light as well. To find out how accurate your assumptions are about the type of first impression you are making with people, Zaretsky recommends interviewing three to five people who are close to you and who you trust to tell you the truth. Let them know that you are working on your professional development and would appreciate their honest feedback about what they first thought of you when you met.

Avoid being offended by their comments, but instead use them to be better aware of how you are perceived by others, so you can make any necessary changes.

Hope you enjoyed reading this;)

“Do you agree?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!”

Bye for Know,

Sameer

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How to stop comparing yourself with other people

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Hey Everyone!

How to stop comparing yourself 

with other people

It’s totally normal to use happy,successful people as a benchmark, but here’s how to keep it from eating you up.Maybe it starts with a LinkedIn notification that your professional nemesis got a big promotion. Or, perhaps you heard through the grapevine that a former colleague landed your dream job. Suddenly, you’re a wash in negative emotions like envy,anger, or frustration.

“Comparison is adaptive and has helped us survive, think, feel, judge, and cooperate. But, like many adaptive psychological mechanisms, there can be a downside,” says Matthew Baldwin, PhD, of the Social Cognition Center at the University of Cologne in Germany. It opens the door for jealousy and, in extreme cases, could even lead to negative actions like sabotaging someone else’s success.

The always-connected world of social media doesn’t help. A November 2018 University of Pennsylvania study found that frequent use of Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat led to greater feelings of depression and loneliness. The researchers found that the carefully curated images can make others feel as though they’re not doing as well or that someone else’s life is so much better than theirs.

How To Stop Comparing Yourself With People

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS

Those feelings may be an indication that there’s a bigger issue, says Natalie Pennington, PhD, assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. And it’s often related to your relationships and satisfaction with life, in general. “It’s not that the tech makes you depressed, it’s that you already are probably struggling with your relationships and so the tech just makes it worse,” she says.

Cognitive biases also creep into our tendency to compare ourselves to others, online and offline, says Preston Ni, professor of communication studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, California, and author of How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts and Emotions–A Practical Guide. Recency bias, the tendency to remember events that happened more recently, and social comparison bias, where we feel competitive with someone who seems to be doing better than we are, can powerfully distort our interpretations. “We don’t know the whole story. We only know what we see, and what we see is completely biased,” he says.

In addition, our attention is often captivated by people who are doing or achieving remarkable things. But, you don’t know the story behind how they reached their achievement,says Toronto-based organizational psychologist and management consultant Michael Vodianoi. And, sometimes, our tendency to take a pessimistic view–possibly because of negativity bias–may extrapolate someone else’s success into something far worse, he says.

“A ‘catastrophizer’ or a pessimist might take that and start to globalize it, or blow it up, and say, ‘You know, nobody’s gonna find me. I’m never gonna get a promotion. I’m not good enough,'” he says.

TURN COMPARISON INTO A COMPETITIVE EDGE

When used in a healthy way, comparison can be a motivational tool, Baldwin says. If you feel like someone is smarter than you and it motivates you to study for a test, that’s a good thing. The challenge is to keep the negative feelings at bay. Here are steps that can help.

Spend some time with your values. 

Getting distracted by others’ accomplishments may be a sign that you need to check in with what’s important to you, Ni says. “Ultimately, if you have a strong set of internal best practices or internal values and you are good at what you do, you’re dedicated with your career, you have a good strong likelihood of feeling good about your professional performance no matter what, and it doesn’t matter whether or not somebody gets promoted or demoted. You know who you are,” he says. So, think about what really matters to you.

Acknowledge what’s working. 

Take inventory of what’s going well in your life, Ni says. Where are you crushing it? What positive accomplishments have you enjoyed lately? Recognize them, even if they’re small.

Compare apples to apples. 

Look closer at the person or situation, Vodianoi says. Are you really comparing apples to apples? Did the person have connections you didn’t have? Did they have special training or advantages? Examine the evidence you have about what led to another person’s achievement–and acknowledge what you don’t know. The unknown can play a big role in what happened.

Go after the goal.

If someone is achieving at a level you want to reach, use them as a model. Study what they’re doing to rack up those accomplishments and integrate those activities into your routine. Discuss the issue with your mentor, manager, or other trusted adviser to explore how you can get there, too.

Build relationships. 

The most important thing you can do, both professionally and personally, is to focus on building a strong sense of purpose in your life, as well as relationships and interests that give you satisfaction. Pennington says that failing to invest in these elements of a balanced life can lead to giving outsize meaning or importance to others’ good news. Instead, you’ll have many areas of strength and satisfaction from which to draw, leaving you better able to keep the situation in perspective.

There is only one you

This might sound cheesy, but there is one you. You’re utterly unique, and so are your experiences, your world review.That makes you valuable, and pretty awesome. Be the best version of yourself you can be, because no matter how hard you try, you can’t be anyone else. There is always going to be someone taller, smarter, thinner, or richer than you. Trying to get to the top of that is a losing game, and physically impossible.

If you let it.

In order to succeed, you have to be the best you. Oscar Wilde was right: “Everyone else is already taken.”

Hope you enjoyed reading this;)

“What Do You Think?Do you agree or Disagree or Have any other ideas?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!”

Bye for Know,

Sameer

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Facts About First Impressions

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Hey Everyone!,

Know Facts About 

First Impressions

Second Chance

One never gets a second chance,the saying goes,to make a fist impression.It turns out may not ever get that. Within seconds of seeing someone's face you unconsciously make decisions that will influence your interactions.

Moments

Those moments are difficult to overcome says University of Toronto psychology professor Nicholas Role "Every time you see someone even if it's someone you really know, you're making that first impression again."

Influence

You can influence a few impression by wearing glasses,which imply intelligence,or facial piercings,rebelliousness but research shows that a a face can retain same characteristics no matter  how it's presented.

Smile More

Older faces are more telling than young ones. After decades of frowning,for example,a senior's muscles adapt an agrier baseline expression. So smile more-it won't hurt in the short term either.

Looking Young

Yet another benfit of looking young. Leslie Zebrowitz of Brandeis University , USA has concluded that "babyfaceness" correlates to the Likelihood of winning a court case.

First Seconds

What happens after the first seconds?. A firm handshake is important but dont discount vulnerability and humility, which will encourage authentic interaction.

Body Language

Be conscious of body language. Don't cross your arms,don't slouch or fidget, and maintain eye contact and nod to indicate you're paying attention. 

Ask Someone

"The best way to know what sort of first impression you're making is to ask someone you trust." Rule says, explaining that for all the time we spend assessing others,we're poor judges of ourselves.

Digital

Ditch Digital for the real thing.According to a trio of 2014 University of British Columbia studies we make better first impressions face to face, than through pictures or videos.

Tweaking

Stop tweaking that facebook profile."Online people try to do a lot of impression management." Rule says but it might not have the hoped for effect. You might fixate on an aspect of your online presence deemed unimportant by others.

Impressions 

First impressions have an evolutionary basic early humans needed to quickly detect whether a person might deceive them or make for a suitable mate.

Judging

If you're doing the judging,listen to your gut.Studies maintain that people can correctly determine a CEO's profitability and even a person's sexual orientation from a glimpse of their face.

Intitution 

While helpful intuition can indulge biases and stereo types.An IIT-educated employer might be inclined to choose an IIT grad over more qualified alumini from another university. The same goes for race and social class.

Hope these must know facts about First Impressions gestures help you achieve your goals,pinnacles of success and flufil your dreams in every walk of life...ever!!.

Hope you enjoy reading this ;)

“What Do You Think?Do you agree or Disagree or Have any other ideas?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!”

Bye for Know,

Sameer 

There’s more to that 

If you’re looking for more,Please subscribe
to my blog by clicking on Subscribe 
in a reader the icon or Subscribe via Email 
by submitting your email id on the side bar ;

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