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My quiet personality brought me one benefit: I never became one of those self-absorbed blowhards — one who rambles on about their life as if nobody else in the world matters.
Think, but do not speak your negative thought.
Hey Everyone!,
Know, Understand Learn
The Ways Or Behaviours
To Become
Popular
The Ways Or Behaviours
To Become
Popular
Without Being
Charming, Funny, or Outgoing
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It’s your actions that matter the most.
My first day of eighth grade taught me the meaning of the word “unpopular.” I had just moved to a new school district and didn’t know anyone. At lunchtime, I grabbed a tray of food, walked into the seating area, and thought, “Oh shit.”
There were no open tables. Plenty of seats were available, but I couldn’t bring myself to plop down in an open chair in the middle of a group of friends. So for most of the year, I ate while walking around, pretending like I had somewhere to go.
Even as an adult, I never grew into the type of person whom others were automatically drawn to. I couldn’t spin a good joke or charm my way around cocktail parties. I wasn’t a master conversationalist. I figured I would never achieve popularity, and just had to live with it.
But then I learned to adapt.
Over the years, I learned that if you’re charming, funny, or outgoing — great. But in the long run, it’s your actions that matter most. You become popular when you exhibit behaviors that make people like you, admire you, respect you, and seek you out. Here are seven ways to do that.
Be the diplomatic one
Long before I developed skills to compensate for my shyness, friends knew me as someone who could resolve disputes and break the tension. They saw me as impartial, fair, and coolheaded.
When you develop this reputation, people will seek you out as a trusted adviser to settle confrontations. To take on this role, spend more time listening than talking. Don’t take sides. Refrain from inserting yourself into disagreements. If someone asks for your opinion, say, “I don’t know. Can each of you explain your stance on the issue?” You’ll be amazed at how often people work things out without any additional effort on your part, but you’ll still get credit for restoring the peace.
Give unforgettable compliments
Give unforgettable compliments
Anyone can give a compliment, but most compliments are lazy. Flattery like “You have nice eyes” or “Love your work ethic” is too vague to spark anything in the recipient other than a passing appreciation.
A memorable compliment has three components
It’s narrow.
The compliment addresses a small aspect of a person’s actions, expertise, or values.
It’s specific.
It expresses in detail what triggered the desire to praise
It validates.
It shows appreciation for the person’s skills, taste, or values, and most importantly, recognizes what they believe (or wish to believe) about themselves.
Here’s an example of a compliment that accomplishes all three objectives:
“I loved your article about rekindling a lost love. The idea of demonstrating instead of expressing love explained the distance I’ve been feeling with my spouse. We tried your communication strategy and really reconnected.”
Don’t keep score
I once believed you should give and then wait for reciprocation before giving again. That was a mistake. Fretting over debits and credits of favors only leads to resentment.
Giving freely to others benefits you, even when the recipient fails to balance the ledger. When you share your expertise, you reinforce the lesson for yourself. When you do someone a favor, you feel good about being helpful.
That doesn’t mean you should let people exploit you. Nor should you give away something that deserves compensation. But when you give out of passion rather than obligation, you become someone people like, admire, and respect.
Ask, don’t tell
Ask, don’t tell
My quiet personality brought me one benefit: I never became one of those self-absorbed blowhards — one who rambles on about their life as if nobody else in the world matters.
To compensate for my lack of charm, I learned to ask questions. When you ask open-ended queries, you keep others talking while you learn about them. You might ask: “Tell me a little bit about your role” or “Interesting, can you say more about the challenge of winning a deal?” or “What’s it like to have that responsibility?” Follow your questions up with punchy reversals to keep people talking about themselves: “How’d you do that?” “What’s next?” “How so?” “I’m curious to hear more about…”
Once you get in the habit of asking questions, conversations become more comfortable. Your friends and peers will appreciate the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject: themselves.
Remember the insignificant
A mentor of mine had a practice of finding out trivial facts about people and tracking them in a spreadsheet. Then, whenever he’d read an article, spot a quirky gift, or meet someone who reminded him of a person, he’d reach out, saying something like, “Hey, I just found this auction for Russian nested dolls. Was it your wife who had a collection?”
You don’t need to be that organized about it, but find your own way to remember the seemingly insignificant details of a person’s life. It makes them light up. They know you’re really listening.
Don’t complain
Don’t complain
Some folks are quick to express negativity when things don’t go their way. I know this because I’m one of them. But after years of hearing, “Why are you always so negative?” I’ve become conscious of my behavior.
Avoiding negativity and complaining won’t instantly make you the most popular, but being the one who always finds a problem in everything is sure to repel people like a steak at a vegan retreat.
When you feel the urge to go negative, try this:
Change perspectives. Ask yourself, “What good can come of this? How can I turn it into something positive?”
Share your positive perspective.
Be first when it hurts
Sameer
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Be the first one to lead. Be the first one to defend. Be the first one to call out injustice.
Standing up for the vulnerable puts you at risk for rejection and attack. That’s why most people refuse to do it. It’s less risky when you’re the second, third, or fourth person to join the fray. But being the first when it hurts earns you respect from the people who matter.
If you exhibit these seven behaviors consistently, it won’t matter whether you’re someone who can captivate crowds at dinner parties or make hilarious observations wherever you go. You’ll attract people simply by being a better version of you.
Hope You Enjoyed Reading This.
“What Do You Think?Do you agree or Disagree or Have any other ideas?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!"
Hope You Enjoyed Reading This.
“What Do You Think?Do you agree or Disagree or Have any other ideas?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!"
Bye for Know
Sameer
There’s more to that
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