How Genuine People Motivate,Inspire Trust and Win Admiration Of People By Their Actions,Habits and Behavior or Emotional Intelligence

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How Genuine People Motivate,Inspire 

Trust and Win Admiration Of People By 

Their Habits,Actions and Behavior Or 

Emotional Intelligence

There’s an enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to your performance at work. TalentSmart has tested the EQ of more than a million people and found that it explains 58% of success in all types of jobs.

People with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs. Ninety percent of top performers have high EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. I could go on and on.

Suffice it to say, emotional intelligence is a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with tremendous results.

But there’s a catch. Emotional intelligence won’t do a thing for you if you aren’t genuine.

A recent study from the Foster School of Business at the University of Washington found that people don’t accept demonstrations of emotional intelligence at face value. They’re too skeptical for that. They don’t just want to see signs of emotional intelligence. They want to know that it’s genuine—that your emotions are authentic.

According to lead researcher Christina Fong, when it comes to your coworkers,

“They are not just mindless automatons. They think about the emotions they see and care whether they are sincere or manipulative.”

The same study found that sincere leaders are far more effective at motivating people because they inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that authenticity is important to them, but genuine leaders walk their talk every day.

It’s not enough to just go through the motions, trying to demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional intelligence. You have to be genuine.

You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by comparing your own behavior to that of people who are highly genuine. Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up.

“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.”

–Janet Louise Stephenson

1. Genuine people don’t try to make people like them.

Genuine people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some won’t. And they’re OK with that. It’s not that they don’t care whether or not other people will like them but simply that they’re not going to let that get in the way of doing the right thing. They’re willing to make unpopular decisions and to take unpopular positions if that’s what needs to be done.

Since genuine people aren’t desperate for attention, they don’t try to show off. They know that when they speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, people are much more attentive to and interested in what they have to say than if they try to show that they’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what or how many people you know.

2. They don’t pass judgment. 

Genuine people are open-minded, which makes them approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen.

Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, as approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require you to believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.

3. They forge their own paths.

Genuine people don’t derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from the opinions of others. This frees them up to follow their own internal compasses. They know who they are and don’t pretend to be anything else. Their direction comes from within, from their own principles and values. They do what they believe to be the right thing, and they’re not swayed by the fact that somebody might not like it.

4. They are generous.

We’ve all worked with people who constantly hold something back, whether it’s knowledge or resources. They act as if they’re afraid you’ll outshine them if they give you access to everything you need to do your job. Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know, and the resources they have access to. They want you to do well more than anything else because they’re team players and they’re confident enough to never worry that your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your success is their success.

5. They treat everyone with respect.

Whether interacting with their biggest clients or servers taking their drink orders, genuine people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that no matter how nice they are to the people they have lunch with, it’s all for naught if those people witnesses them behaving badly toward others. Genuine people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.

6. They aren’t motivated by material things.

Genuine people don’t need shiny, fancy stuff in order to feel good. It’s not that they think it’s wrong to go out and buy the latest and greatest items to show off their status; they just don’t need to do this to be happy. Their happiness comes from within, as well as from the simpler pleasures—such as friends, family, and a sense of purpose—that make life rich.

7. They are trustworthy.

People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people mean what they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it. You’ll never hear a truly genuine person say, “Oh, I just said that to make the meeting end faster.” You know that if they say something, it’s because they believe it to be true.

8. They are thick-skinned.

Genuine people have a strong enough sense of self that they don’t go around seeing offense that isn’t there. If somebody criticizes one of their ideas, they don’t treat this as a personal attack. There’s no need for them to jump to conclusions, feel insulted, and start plotting their revenge. They’re able to objectively evaluate negative and constructive feedback, accept what works, put it into practice, and leave the rest of it behind without developing hard feelings.

9. They put away their phones.

Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them. When you robotically approach people with small talk and are tethered to your phone, this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Genuine people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life.

10. They aren’t driven by ego.

Genuine people don’t make decisions based on their egos because they don’t need the admiration of others in order to feel good about themselves. Likewise, they don’t seek the limelight or try to take credit for other people’s accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying, “Hey, look at me!”

11. They aren’t hypocrites.

Genuine people practice what they preach. They don’t tell you to do one thing and then do the opposite themselves. That’s largely due to their self-awareness. Many hypocrites don’t even recognize their mistakes. They’re blind to their own weaknesses. Genuine people, on the other hand, fix their own problems first.

12. They don’t brag.

We’ve all worked with people who can’t stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments. Have you ever wondered why? They boast and brag because they’re insecure and worried that if they don’t point out their accomplishments, no one will notice. Genuine people don’t need to brag. They’re confident in their accomplishments, but they also realize that when you truly do something that matters, it stands on its own merits, regardless of how many people notice or appreciate it.

Bringing It All Together

Genuine people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. They are firmly grounded in reality, and they’re truly present in each moment because they’re not trying to figure out someone else’s agenda or worrying about their own.

Hope you enjoyed reading this;)

"What other qualities do you see in genuine people? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!"

Bye for Know,

Sameer

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How or Why Do You Benefit From Drinking Water From A Copper Vessel?

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Hey Everyone!,

How Or Why Do You Benefit              

From Drinking Water From 

A Copper Vessel?

Drinking water that has been cleansed and ionized in a copper vessel is a common practice. In India, this transformed, therapeutic water taken from a copper cup is called Tamra jal. 

Copper is found to have many intrinsic properties that are good for your health.

Copperized water is a natural antioxidant that helps balance the three doshas of the body (kapha, vata and pitta). The trace amount of copper in a Tamra jal is safe and healthful, even when added to other normal dietary sources of copper.

To illustrate this point, have you ever wondered why after drinking multiple glasses of water a day, you still feel thirsty and not energized?

In order to make drinking water safe, water treatment plants use basic filtration systems to remove most contaminants. These systems make water safe for drinking but they also destroy water’s vital life energy and drastically shift its natural pH. By the time your drinking water has been treated, traveled great distances through water pipes and gets into your glass, it has lost much of its vitality, tasting “dead”. As a result, the water we drink is not easily absorbed by our cells, leaving us wanting more. The Tamra™ recharges the vitality of your drinking water. It ionizes, energizes, and balances the pH, making the water “alive” again. This energized water is better absorbed by your cells and therefore enhances hydration.

Scientifically speaking, when water is stored in a copper vessel for over eight hours, very small quantities of copper get dissolved in this water. This process is called “oligodynamic effect” and has the ability to destroy a wide range of harmful microbes, molds, fungi etc. due to the toxic effect it has on living cells.

This positively charged water is extremely good for health. Even though sometimes it may taste a bit odd, it is worth noting that this water never becomes stale and can be stored for a long time.

It is highly beneficial to store water in a copper cup overnight and drink from it as soon as you wake up.

Some of the benefits of drinking from a copper cup are:

1) Aids digestive functions 

Copper has inherent properties that help in the process of digestion. It stimulates the uniform contraction and relaxation of the stomach that eases digestion and helps the food move along the digestive tract. Moreover, it helps to kill bacteria and reduce inflammation in the stomach. Copper also contains properties that help cleanse and detoxify your stomach, aiding and regulating the function of the kidneys and liver.

2) Weight loss 

Drinking water from a copper cup on a regular basis can help you shed weight. Copper helps in breaking down fat and also helps to eliminate it efficiently out of the body. Thus, it helps your body to keep whatever it requires and discards the rest.

3) Heals wounds 

Copper is also known to possess antibacterial, anti-viral and anti-inflammatory properties. Due to these properties, it serves to quickly heal both internal and external wounds, while strengthening your immune system.

4) Slows the aging process 

The natural remedy for the fine lines on your face might be copper. Rich in anti-oxidants, it helps to fight free radicals, bringing about the formation of new cells. Regularly using copper cups can also give a radiant glow to your face.

5) Helps to prevent heart diseases and cancer 

Copper is an effective remedy to prevent the risks of cancer and cardiovascular diseases. According to studies, copper has been found to regulate heart rate, blood pressure and also aids in drastically reducing a person's cholesterol level, leading to improved cardiovascular health. Certain studies have found that copper has anti-cancer effects but the exact mechanism for such a process is still unknown.

6)Brain function

Stimulates brain function. Our brain works by transmitting impulses from one neuron to another through an area known as the synapses. These neurons are covered by a sheath called the myelin sheath that acts like a sort of conductive agent – helping the flow of impulses. How does copper figure here you ask?  Well, copper actually helps in the synthesis of phospholipids that are essential for the formation of these myelin sheaths. Thereby, making your brain work much faster and more efficiently.  Apart from that copper is also known to have anti-convulsive properties (prevents seizures).

7)Bone strength

Boosts bone strength and Combats arthritis and joint pain.Copper has very potent anti-inflammatory properties. This asset is especially great to relieve aches and pains caused due to inflamed joints – like in the case of arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Apart from that, copper also has bone and immune system strengthening properties, making it the perfect remedy for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.

8)Fertility

Improves fertility

How to buy a copper vessel

If all its benefits have convinced you to try storing and drinking water from a copper vessel, here is a guide to buying the right kind of vessel.

It is important to buy vessels that are made of pure copper. Do not buy ones that have other metals mixed in it. Some of the commonest vessels made with copper are copper water jugs or a kalash. If buying a jug or kalash is too expensive for you, you can invest in a copper glass.

Once you have bought it, rinse it out with water and pour water into the vessel and cover it. You can use a steel or glass dish for this.

One very easy way to distinguish between pure copper and an adulterated version is to know that copper is a very soft metal and pure copper is difficult to mould into intricate shapes. So if the design of your copper vessel is very intricate, it is most probably not made with pure copper.

How to clean copper bottle

Traditional methods of cleaning copper bottle is by rubbing the copper with a mixture of salt and tamarind paste. Nowadays, you can use fresh lemon juice, salt or baking soda and vinegar to clean it. Allow it to stand in bottle overnight or at least 8 hours for best effects. Rinse in the morning.

No wonder our ancestors had copper vessels for drinking water. And don’t you think they had lived longer and healthier than their modern aqua-filtering counterparts! A debate may be on, but again, copper water is definitely good for all of us.

WARNING

Copper is not innately utilized by our body. That is why too much of the metal can be detrimental. According to the FDA, about 12 mg/day is more than sufficient for the body to use without causing any harm. So, do not overdo the entire exercise. Drinking water twice or thrice in a day from a copper vessel is more than enough to reap its benefits.

Hope you enjoyed reading this;)

“What Do You Think About How Do You Benefit From Drinking Water From A Copper Vessel? Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!” 

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Sameer

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How To Turn Your Phone Into A Friend, Instead Of An Enemy

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How To Turn Your Phone To A Friend, Instead of An Enemy

Technology doesn’t have to be an isolating force

“How could a phone be a shrink?” This question drove my research at Intel in 2006 and led to a prototype we called the Mood Phone. I knew the idea flew in the face of an implicit tenet of therapy: that unmediated interpersonal dialogue was essential for it to be effective. But I also knew that the traditional model of therapy was constrained by the technological limitations of the age in which it first developed.

I spent the better part of a decade training to become a clinical psychologist. I saw how powerful individual therapy can be, but I also knew that the “talking cure” — the late-19th-century paradigm of an extended dialogue between a therapist and client held in a setting removed from the client’s everyday life — didn’t scale. A good therapist is expensive, physically distant, and available by appointment only. Our problems occur in the mix of our lives, unscheduled.

So I began the Mood Phone effort as an experiment with colleagues at Intel and Columbia University. The Mood Phone was an app designed to serve as a personal therapeutic agent, with interactive prompts rooted in the psychological principles used by therapists, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy. We wanted to offer individuals a digital therapist at their disposal. The Mood Phone integrated sensors, calendar prompts, and self-tracking data to detect emotional changes. It offered visual and verbal cues to help individuals navigate their problems in real time.

One of the early hints that this tool would be more than a private therapist in your pocket came from a participant named Chandra, who told me how she used it to manage a toxic interaction. She had walked into a bar to meet friends when she heard one of them bad-mouth a mutual friend who wasn’t there. It got uglier and turned into a character assault. Chandra checked her Mood Phone and saw that it happened to cue up a helpful rhetorical question, which she showed to her friends: “Might I be villainizing?” Villainizing, an extension of tendencies to see the world in black-and-white terms, is part of an attributional style associated with hostility. By holding up a mirror in this way, Chandra interrupted the attack on her friend and perhaps even encouraged some self-reflection among her friends in the bar.

Chandra had taken a technology carefully designed for one purpose and extended its use for another. She had turned it into a social tool appropriate for her situation. Perhaps much of the concern about communications technology came from an assumption that people would use these tools exactly in the way that the designers had anticipated. What if we looked at how people are making these tools their own, going beyond the expected uses? What if we looked more fully at how these tools are being used in the complex social situations of daily life?

I suspect that the value we get from technology similarly depends on how we challenge it and let it challenge us.

In the years since that project, I have experimented with many other ways of bringing what psychologists know about emotion, communication, and health into the technologies people use throughout the day. I have also watched the ways individuals use popular products, such as ride-sharing, messaging, gaming, and augmented reality, often in unexpected ways. Some used smart lights, intended for efficiency, to signal to their partner when they were upset; others used augmented reality not for gaming but to cope with social anxiety and to help plan complex medical treatment. The lesson I first learned from Chandra — that benefit often comes as people break or expand the rules to depart from the intended usage — has played out repeatedly. I have seen that our relationship to technology and the benefits we reap from it depend on how much we make it our own.

This has motivated me to contextualize the drumbeat we hear about the perils of technology, particularly social media: increased isolation, difficulty empathizing, and impaired conversational skills. Sherry Turkle’s compelling TED Talk about the isolating effects of technology has been viewed more than 4 million times. This talk resonates with a desire for more connectedness, along with a growing concern about the distraction we see in ourselves and others.

Most of us rely on communication technology, especially the messaging, social networking apps, email, and voice services on our phones, for connectedness with family and friends. This connectedness, through whatever means it is sustained, is vital. I suspect most people reading this have suffered through periods of feeling isolated or know someone who has. Loneliness is common, particularly among those under 18 and over 65, and poses health risks (for example, dementia and heart disease) that are comparable to obesity and smoking. Like other health concerns, loneliness may spread within social networks. It is obviously not the case that all communication works against loneliness, that every glance at Facebook or every composed email cultivates feelings of belongingness or closeness. Nor is it clear that phones, social media, or the internet cause isolation. To the contrary, some research associates internet use with increased communication and social satisfaction. For those who are extraverted, these channels offer additional contact, and for those who are socially anxious, texting and online communication lower the barriers to communicating. Many teens and kids find friendship as well as acceptance through social media that is unavailable in their local communities. Online communities are often especially critical for teens who feel ostracized due to their gender identity and sexual orientation.

I broaden the definition of social media to include all the technologies we use to connect — whether that is with fleeting acquaintances, close friends and family, or larger communities. Thought about this way, social media extends well beyond social networking sites, messaging, and email. Even reminders from voice assistants are used interpersonally. Take the example of a father who has trouble enforcing time limits with his young kids. When he simply tells them they have five more minutes of playtime, the end of that time seems subjective. He may announce that time’s up at five minutes or maybe 15. Regardless, his daughters resist and wiggle for more time. Lately, he’s been calling in reinforcement, saying to his home device, “Okay, Google, let’s set a timer for five more minutes of playtime.” This makes it official. When the timer goes off, he is not the bad guy.

A related exchange played out between two brothers who had grown apart. The younger of the two, Paul, recently sent his brother, Roger, a voice message through the Alexa app in which he sang a song they laughed about as kids. This endearing exchange took an amusing turn when the smart speaker in Roger’s kitchen, which was playing Paul’s message, apparently took Paul’s singing as a cue to play the original version of the song. Roger was suddenly transported decades back to a time when he and his brother often laughed together about this silly song.

Rather than regarding technology as an external force or temptation that we have to struggle against, I propose thinking about the alliances we form with technology. This alliance begins when we acquire or access something, perhaps a new device, service, or data, and evolves as the technology challenges us and we challenge it. We bring the technology into social situations it wasn’t designed for. We draw on it to negotiate the limitations we see in ourselves. In exploring new applications for it, we find new perspectives on ourselves and our social worlds.

In suggesting that we ally with technology, I am adapting the concept of the therapeutic alliance — the collaborative bond between patient and therapist that has been identified as a critical element of treatment. This alliance develops in part from mutual challenging: The therapist questions aspects of a patient’s life story that may limit her expectations for the future; the patient critiques the therapist’s interpretations and the process. I suspect that the value we get from technology similarly depends on how we challenge it and let it challenge us.

Hope you enjoyed reading this;)

“Do you agree?Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me!”

Bye for Know,

Sameer

There’s more to that

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How or Why Our Relationships Are Mirrors for Ourselves

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Hey Everyone!,

How or Why Our Relationships Are Mirrors For Ourselves

They mirror your flaws in ways you can’t see

 A couple of years ago, I attended a meditation workshop in New York City. I immediately bonded with the girl I was sitting next to, and we became fast friends. We went to dinner that night and talked for hours. When I came to the city for work, we’d meet up and spend the day together. I met her friends; she met mine. We’d text long rambling updates about our lives. It was like best friends at first sight — until it wasn’t.

Only a few weeks after our meeting, the friendship faded out. Nothing “bad” happened. There was no drama. There were no hurt feelings. We just got distracted, and our lives carried on.

What I didn’t know then was that she and I had already served an important purpose in each other’s lives.

In the weeks we had been talking for hours at a time, we were often talking about just one thing: our recently failed relationships. I had come to realize something important about the trajectory of the relationship I was in at the time. This new friend and I, as it happened, were in nearly identical situations with our ex-boyfriends, left to decide whether we wanted to try again or let go.

The more my friend told me about her relationship, the more I thought she was naive. She was clearly mismatched with her partner and it was time for her to move on. I didn’t see it then, but I realize now that her situation was a mirror of my own, and the advice I wanted to give her was a projection of what I desperately needed to hear myself.

What we are looking for in relationships isn’t really love, it’s familiarity. And the exact same thing applies to friendship.

We hadn’t been drawn to each other by accident; there was a deep, unconscious psychological need we served for one another. And when I reviewed the few other friendships I’d had that had unfolded like this, I noticed an unnerving pattern.

John Gottman believes that finding your soulmate is not a random, chance encounter orchestrated by the divine, no matter what the movies would have you believe. He theorizes that your ideal partner is actually just someone who most matches your “love map,” your subconscious concept of a perfect match.

But in the shadows of our unconscious thinking, our preferences for a relationship aren’t always nice things like financial stability, relative attractiveness, or good communication. What we seek out may also be a reflection of our deepest, seediest needs.

For example, children of divorced parents tend to have more negative attitudes toward marriage as a whole and are ultimately less “optimistic about the feasibility of long-lasting, healthy marriage.” This isn’t because they’re cursed; it’s possibly because separation is part of their subconscious love map. What they first came to know as love was also separation or maybe abandonment, and that has become part of their concept of “love,” even if it very much is not.

This could also explain why some children of addicts will grow up to have adult relationships with addicts. Subconsciously, their intent may be to try to heal their partner in the way they could not heal their parent. Or, they may just not realize that they associate addictive behaviors with the comfort of their closest relationships.

Under this theory, what we are looking for in relationships isn’t really love, it’s familiarity. And the exact same thing applies to friendship.

Trying to change another person will not heal you.

It’s not a coincidence that you bond and “just click” with some people over others. In most cases, you have more in common with your closest friends than you think. You are often drawn to the people who have the same problems you want to heal within yourself, though you don’t know how.

When those relationships get challenging and you find yourself frustrated with their patterns of behavior — but you remain friends with them anyway — it’s often the case that you’re observing a mirrored pattern of your own behavior. You just don’t realize it.

We are usually unconscious of our own behavior, but we do observe it in others, often criticizing and making judgments about the person based on it. This can become a sort of obsession, the root of a love/hate relationship, the seed of jealousy, competition, and envy. And the things that most irritate us about others may show us what we cannot yet see within ourselves.

When we meet someone who has a similar wound to us, we feel it. We know there is something about them that equally draws us in and makes us want to push away. The problem is when we try to heal someone else’s wound in place of needing to heal our own.

It’s how so many people find themselves in toxic friendships. They’re attracted not to people who they connect with over shared interests or mutual respect, but to people whose worst behaviors are unconscious mirrors of their own. Instead of realizing that each person is responsible for their own reconciliation, they try to project the problem onto one another, police each other for it, and control one another’s behavior to create the change they really crave.

But trying to change another person will not heal you. It will not make you better.

There are millions and millions of people in the world. There are hundreds, if not potentially thousands, whose paths we cross. There are opportunities to connect everywhere, and yet most people end up with a small to moderate social circle, containing relationships that make them feel strongly one way or another.

This does not happen by coincidence.

The idea of your relationships being your greatest teachers might sound like another platitude, but that’s only because it is also true. Your relationships, and what you experience within them, are your most prime opportunities to see yourself more clearly, to understand who you are and what you care about, and to identify what you want to cherish and what you want to change.

So instead of trying to maneuver through life fixing other people and judging them for the ways in which they are not yet healed, consider that the wounds that trigger you most deeply in others are perhaps just reflections of your own. Perhaps what you most often think about them is really what you want to tell yourself.

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“Do you agree? Please Share your thoughts in the comments below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me".

Bye for Know,

Sameer

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